Not Another Cinderella Story!
by Slushipping
Summary: Kenny and Karen McCormick are treated cruelly by an agnostic family. But not all hope is lost where there's a ball in town and every child is eligible to go! Everyone except for Kenny and Karen, that is... it's Mysterion to the rescue! Pairings include Buren, Kemily, and implied Stendy.
1. Chapter 1

**Re-uploaded to my 'fic shipping' account. A three-shot story! ... Well, that is if the motivation ever comes back. xD;**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park; it belongs to Trey Parker & Matt Stone! I don't own Cinderella, either. It's one of those stories that belongs to... a lot of people.**_

* * *

Not Another Cinderella Story!

**_Chapter I_**

"No, no, no! Stop! You're cleaning it too much!"

Kenny's head snapped up from staring at the floor. He turned and saw his little sister who was, once again, caught in another one of Mr. Weatherhead's Agnostic uproars.

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness, Karen, you should know that!" he spat. "Now soak down that floor—but try not to make it too wet… unless—" An evil smirk curled on his lips. "—unless you'd like a night down in the Punishment Room."

"I-I'm so s-sorry, Mr. Weatherhead," apologized Karen. "I won't make that mistake again, I promise!" She immediately got to work with the mop and proceeded to wash the floorboards, but not by too much.

If there was one thing that Mr. Weatherhead took the most genuine pleasure in, it was seeing fear in little Karen's eyes. He had her wrapped around his finger, and he knew that one way or another, his Agnostic intentions would beat into her head in no time.

Mr. Weatherhead then went along with his business, but before he could do so, he caught Karen's older brother staring. The foster father's cold eyes glared daggers at the boy, hoping he'd move in fright; but to Mr. Weatherhead's surprise, he did not. Kenny's sister was not to be messed with, and Mr. Weatherhead knew that of all people. But what he also did know that Kenny was very brave and resourceful, not to mention silent; he didn't talk a lot, much to Mr. Weatherhead's annoyance. However, he did what he was told—most of the time. Poor Karen had to be dragged out of bed past midnight just to witness her older brother being tormented by a long and sticky although somewhat refreshing spray of Dr. Pepper in the Punishment Room.

"Let this be a lesson to you," Mr. Weatherhead had once said, "if you ever disobey the rules of this family."

When their "parent" left the room, Karen could cry freely. Sensing his big brother instincts tingling by hand, Kenny hurried to his sister's aid and allowed her to sob in his arms.

"W—why did our family have to go to heaven so early, Kenny?" she sniffled. "Didn't they love us?"

"Of course they did, Karen," said Kenny, stroking her hair. "But… people can go to heaven at any time. It's not our choice to make."

"I wish we could run away from here," said Karen. "I wish that we could have our own little shining castle that we could share."

Kenny smiled and pulled his little sister into an hygm followed by kissing her on top of the head.

"Maybe we will," Kenny whispered in her ear. "Keep dreaming, Karen. You must believe in that. If you're willing to believe in those dreams, they will come true eventually… You work so hard and you still remain to be kind to all. Remember to keep your chin up and don't fret."

He was always trying his hardest to encourage her to follow her dreams; Karen deserved happiness more than anyone in the entire world.

Karen wiped her tears with a dirty sleeve. "Fret?"

Her big brother nodded. "Because…" He poked her arm. "If we finish all our chores early…" He poked at her again. "Then we'll be able to visit Mr. and Mrs. McElroy today!"

Karen's frown turned upside down. It always made Kenny happy to see her smile.

"Really, Kenny?!" she asked.

"Really, really."

Karen grabbed the mop by the handle and smiled a smile that was as big as the moon. "What're we waiting for?! Let's get to work!"

* * *

Thomas and Nelly McElroy were considered to be the best neighbors in the kingdom, at least by Kenny and Karen's standards. They were an elderly couple of middle class who were very kind and generous people. They lived together in a lovely rich cottage filled with old and expensive antiques that the children loved to look at when they were invited over for tea and cookies. Thomas and Nelly were so happy to have children playing in their house again; their only son, Chef, left for the castle a few years ago to take the job of helping out in the kitchen and making the Prince some of his special chocolate salty balls.

However, not wanting to cause an angry breakout between the families, and by Mr. Weatherhead's orders, Kenny and Karen kept quiet about the Punishment Room and the harsh parenting in general. But they always cheered up when Thomas told them magnificent stories about his endless and strange encounters with the Loch Ness Monster. … Well, for Karen, anyway. Kenny couldn't care less about them; he rather grew bored of the countless tales, but as long as his sister was happy.

You could say that Kenny and Karen were treated like royalty.

"… Let me see, was it February or March of that year when we saw that crazy ol' monsta?"

Thomas scratched his big gray beard, his eyes rolled to the ceiling, deep in thought. Kenny and Karen were sitting on the opposite sofa, sharing a plate of fresh chocolate chip cookies. They crunched and munched to their hearts' content when all of a sudden, Nelly hurried into the living room, flapping around a scroll.

"Thomas! Children!" she screamed. "We've received an invitation 'ta be adult supervision at 'ta the Prince's ball, Thomas! Oh Lord have mercy, what a won'rful ball it'll be!"

"What?" Thomas exclaimed, jumping off the couch. "Are you sure, Nelly? It could'a been 'dat damn Loch Ness Monsta' at the door in disguise as the king's messenger!"

"Have a look for yourself, Thomas!" Nelly held up the paper.

The elderly man put on his reading spectacles and scanned the fine writing. Kenny and Karen joined him.

"Well, what do you know? Nelly's right. It's all written here in ink! There's to be a ball t'night in honor of the Prince! … He will be choosin' a bride or… he'll be… hmm…"

"He'll be what, Mr. McElroy?" asked Karen.

"Apparently, he's forced to choose a bride by the stroke of midnight. If he doesn't, then he'll be grounded," replied Thomas. "Damn. Poor litt'l cracka'."

Karen smiled sadly. "Oh, that's wonderful! I hope you have a good time. I wish we could go."

"But my dear, you are eligible to go!" said Thomas cheerfully.

The little girl gasped. A burst of joy filled her heart. "I… I am?"

"And Kenny, too! You both are allowed to go. Every child is required to attend the Prince's ball. It says so right here."

Karen swung her arms around her older brother, smiling up at him. "Did you hear that, Kenny?! We get to go to the ball!"

* * *

"No, you are _not_ going to the ball."

Karen's bottom lip trembled as she faced her stern foster parents. "But… I-I don't understand, every child is required to go. Didn't you get a message from the king today?"

"Why would we?" Mr. Weatherhead frowned as his wife crossed her arms. "Most of the idiots in this town don't even know of your existence."

"… The Prince isn't an idiot," Karen commented. "I'm sure that he would have sent a—"

"Karen!" Mr. Weatherhead cut her off, enraged. Frightened, Karen backed away behind her brother for protection. Kenny's eyes narrowed; he had just enough about this nonsense. "You are not attending the ball, end of discussion."

After a single teardrop, Karen raced upstairs and locked herself away in her bedroom. Kenny looked on in a mix of worry for his baby sister and fury towards his foster parents. He watched them as they suspiciously interacted to each other in exasperated whispers as they walked into the kitchen, popping open a pair of canned Dr. Pepper.

A half an hour passed when the coast was clear. Mr. and Mrs. Weatherhead parked themselves in front of their giant bookcase and cozy fireplace, reading cliché and uninteresting informative books on how to train up a child. Kenny didn't take his sweet time to sneak into the kitchen and bombard himself into the garbage can. A second later he jumped out and swept away a rotting banana peel before opening a crumpled piece of paper.

That's when an unspeakable rage burned within him.

* * *

Overwhelmed with disappointment and fear, Karen buried face first into her pillow. She was so excited to attend this ball—she and her brother could have tried new food, mingle with new friends, and dance the night away—but, no. Unfortunately, she was never to go to the ball all because of her horrible foster parents. Her real parents—if they were alive—probably would tell her that she could not attend, but with good reason. They were very poor at the time before they passed away, and Karen could have understood why she wouldn't be able to go. She couldn't afford to buy any formal clothing of her own. But now she and Kenny were living in a two story house with a pair of horrific fake parents that chose to do as they pleased, no matter if "their" children were happy or miserable.

Shuddering, Karen raised her head and went to her window. The magnificent white castle glimmered in the distance. Everyone was there. Everyone besides her and Kenny. What she would give just to have a night full of fun and away from Mr. and Mrs. Weatherhead… She lay her head down on the windowsill and closed her eyes, her head wandering off in the clouds.

And then, all of a sudden, she felt something warm grasp her tiny hand. Karen broke from her daydreams and opened her eyes. She gasped and took a step back. Her 'o' shaped mouth changed into a grin when a cloaked figure in purple spandex was perched on the sill.

"Oh, you're here!" Karen cried. "You're the one who comes to me when I'm feeling sad. Thank you for coming!"

"Mysterion," said the mysterious stranger in purple. "But as you call me your…"

"Guardian Angel," Karen finished for him.

The one who dawned the Mysterion persona gave a brief nod.

"Karen," he said. "There is no time to waste. There are people who are expecting your arrival. The ball awaits!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is chapter two... chapter three is still on its way; I haven't forgotten about this story! So, don't worry. :) I just need a nice little climax. I don't want to do anything that is too particularly big, but fun for everyone to read.**

**And Emily Anderson isn't an OC, btw. I figured to give Kenny a little love, so I chose one of the background girls. ^^ She has a small speaking part in _Bass To Mouth_. I hope you don't mind.**

_**However, the kingdom of Crepuscule is mine! ^^;; It's actually a kingdom that is used in my original stories, and Pete (Red Goth) is right on the dot.**_

* * *

**_Chapter II_**

_The ball started at eight. It's ten now… aw gee whiz, Dad's gonna be awfully sore—_

"Butters!"

A prideful King Stephen entered his son's personal chamber, looking awfully sore indeed.

"BUTTERS!" he screamed in the cowardly prince's face. "You have less than two hours. Choose a bride before the stroke of midnight… or you're going to be grounded big time, mister."

"B-but Dad," stammered Butters, knuckles rubbing anxiously, "You don't get it! I've offered a majority of the young ladies in the kingdom for their hand in marriage, but they all turned me down! N-no one wants to dance with a dork like me… o-or share a sundae… it's hopeless…"

"Well, persuade them!"

"But Dad—…"

"There's always room for a second chance, Butters," said Stephen. "Now run along and have a good time with your friends before I ground you for being cooped up in your room all night."

Butters sighed and gave into his father's orders, exiting his bedroom. "Oh, hamburgers…"

* * *

Karen smoothed out her skirt once more before looking over her shoulder to the opened doors of the castle.

"Wow…," she said, staring at the shining towers. "It's so… big and fancy."

Mysterion knelt down on one knee, placing a brotherly hand on Karen's shoulder. "Is it all what you hoped it to be?" he asked.

She nodded enthusiastically. "Oh… oh, yes, Guardian Angel!" She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him into a warm hug. "This is like a wonderful dream come true! I don't know how to thank you…" At last she spun around in her gown and curtsied in gratitude. Mysterion mimicked the latter movement by taking a deep bow.

Karen's cheeks flushed pink when she asked, "Are you coming with me, Guardian Angel?"

"I'm afraid not," Mysterion told her. "But I'll gladly walk you home when the ball is over. I'm sorry, but parties aren't my thing."

"Oh," said Karen, looking disappointed. "Okay then. I wish Kenny could have come. He would have loved to dance with all the girls here." She giggled, turning on her heels and continued to talk to her angel over her shoulder. "I should bring him something to eat after the dance! He deserves it since he's covering for me… you two do a lot for me, you know."

"You deserve to be happy, Karen," said Mysterion. "This is your night; enjoy it!"

Karen nodded. "Thank you again, Guardian Angel! And I will!" Without a care in the world and one whip of her skirt, she was gone.

Kenny's hand scavenged the little pouch on his trusty utility belt. He opened it briefly and glanced down at the coins he'd stolen from the Weatherheads' wallet before dressing as Mysterion, and gave it two playful swats when he closed the said pouch. At least ten or more coins covered Karen's gown, but the rest? He wondered; hopefully it could be at some good use in the future—that is, if the Weatherheads didn't find out…

_Oh, like they would,_ Kenny thought to himself and snorted, rolling his eyes.

* * *

"Hey, could we get another round of coffee over here?"

The twitchy servant in the bowtie turned to face a group of pale children dressed in all black, sitting outside on the railings of the castle patio smoking cigarettes. Tweek managed a smile and added a tic before racing to the Goths' side, pouring each of them coffee into their glasses. They all began to drink simultaneously.

"Good—agh—God," Tweek muttered. "Do you want a doughnut to go with those or not? I-I mean, I love to drink coffee too, but wouldn't you guys anything to go with that?"

Pete, the kid with the red streak through his hair, suggested, "Any dark chocolate ones would do." He crushed the butt of his last cigarette into the ashtray that was sitting on a glass table top. "Actually, dark chocolate filling would be better."

"Ch'yeah," the others stated in agreement. Tweek hurried away, hoping to succeed with their order.

The curly Goth Michael was on the lookout. Henrietta, the only female of the group, blew some smoke in his direction. "What's got you so paranoid all of a sudden?" she asked, interested.

"I'm so freaking sick of that old man telling us those stupid Loch Ness stories," growled Michael, eyes peering through the growing crowd in the ballroom. "As if I wanted to leave this sparkly douchy castle enough already."

"I hear there's a forest that's far, far away," said Pete, "where manticores and leucrocottas roam. In the heart of the forest, there's a kingdom called Crepuscule—get this, it's all black and creepy. Like in an Edgar Allen Poe story. The royal family forces their servants to sleep in the dungeon and if anyone is feeling ill and they're too sick to stand, the prince takes them outside to starve until they die of hunger before he bashes their brains out with a shovel and feeds their flesh to the beasts."

"Whoa."

Henrietta took a drag of her cigarette, if craving for more of Pete's description of the mysterious castle. Michael's eyes widened in awe.

"Are you freaking serious? Dude… that's so hardcore."

"What are we doing out here anyway?" asked the youngest Goth Firkle, throwing away his cigarette. The others joined his gesture and stood up. "Maybe if we dig up more information on what Pete's talking about, we'll be able to leave and never come back to this conformist kingdom."

Michael nodded, gripping his cane. "Good call, let's—"

"Well hello there, children!" called a beaming Thomas.

The Goth Kids sat back down, groaning in misery.

While they were withering away just by listening to the old man tell his stories, Butters was trying another attempt of asking any girl to dance with him.

"Hiya Red! Would you like to—"

"No."

"Oh, okay… h-hey, Jenny, yeah, you! Jenny Simons! I was thinkin' you could—"

"Huh? Oh, gee. Look at the time. Kyle, I think the waltz is calling our names!"

"What? Oh… okeydokey… h-hey, Bebe, you think—"

"Go away, Your Queerness."

"G-gosh darn it, how the heck am I… OH! Hey'ya, Wendy! Hey, Wendy! Over here!"

Wendy Testaburger, a girl with smooth black hair wearing a pink beret and soft lavender ball gown looked to see the prince was approaching her for the first time that night. She curtsied as soon as Butters stood in front of her, huffing and puffing.

"W-Wendy… I-I was wondering if… um… w-well…"

"Yes?" said Wendy, offering a kind smile.

"If y-you could… oh hamburgers… hold on a sec…"

In and out… in and out… catch your breath, just like Dad taught you, Butters…

"Y-your Highness, are you sure you're all righ—"

"Wouldyoubewillingtodancewithme,Wendy? AndmaybeIdunnoconsiderbecomingmyprincessonyoureighteenthbirthday?" he asked breathlessly, grinning from ear to ear.

Wendy stepped away cautiously, hands folded behind her back. She glanced to the marble floor, biting her lower lip in hesitation, and then looked over her shoulder at Stan Marsh, who was busily grabbing two glasses of punch at the buffet table while chatting with guests Token Black and Clyde Donovan.

"Sorry Your Highness, but I'm with Stan this evening," Wendy apologized. The crown on Butters' head drooped, as well did his shoulders and smile. Wendy patted his shoulder with a gloved hand. "Aww, don't look so glum! Cheer up. I'm sure that someone will come along and dance with you before the night is over."

Feeling the tears coming, Butters faked a tiny smile so that Wendy wouldn't feel guilty. "Y-yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks, Wendy. At least I could say I tried."

"Are you positive you're all right?" asked Wendy, looking worried. "I'm sorry if I made you cry, Your Highness. I didn't intend to…"

"Don't worry about me," Butters assured her, wiping his tears quickly. _Gosh, Mom just ironed this for me, too… wait till she finds out that my brand new suit's damp from crying! Be a big boy Butters—no… be a MAN!_ "Maybe I'll see you around!"

Butters waved goodbye before helping himself to a plate full of miniature tacos that were lay out on the buffet. It was either tacos or doughnuts. _I can't believe I took Clyde and Eric's suggestions, humph! Whoever heard of serving tacos and doughnuts at a ball anyway? Certainly not me!_ Butters thought to himself and sighed. They could have at least included little bowls of salad for a side… He grabbed a spoonful of lettuce and sprinkled it all over his makeshift tacos. However, he did brighten up a little when he saw Tweek serving chocolate milk.

Butters made his way into the center of the courtyard gardens and found himself a cozy spot on a stone bench that overlooked the typical large fountain you'd see in a modern home magazine. He heard the sounds of children that walked hand in hand through the gardens, laughing and talking with one another. They seemed so… happy. It was then when Butters lost his appetite and he set down his feast beside him. What made him so unattractive that girls… weren't attracted to? Was it his skin? His hair? His voice?

"I'm adorable, gosh darn it!" he raged, throwing his crown to the ground. "… at least, I think I am. Golly, I hope I am!"

"H-hello?"

Butters' head rose when he saw the figure of a young girl walking into the center of the gardens. She turned to face the voice's owner and smiled. Butters' face turned a dark shade of red. He didn't even flinch.

"… Hi."

For such a little girl, she appeared to be cute—pretty, even. She had shoulder length brown hair that curled in waves and a pair of hazel eyes, and… a dress that wore all shades of dark green. She also had dimples when she showed him her golden smile. It was a warm, shy smile. Butters had read through books in the library and read about descriptions on how some people could have smiles that were similar to honey. This had been one of them.

_… Oh hamburgers! Wendy was right, c-could this girl possibly be the one?! B-but she's so… young… younger than me! Oh man, maybe I should… no, no, Butters, this may be the only chance you'll get out of life! So don't screw it up!_

Butters took the plate of food and patted the empty seat.

"Oh," said the girl, who almost sounded surprised. She sat down beside Butters, clasping her hands together. "Thank you for letting me sit with you. I've just been wandering aimlessly since I got here. The castle is so big! And there are so many kids here. It got too crowded in the ballroom, so I decided to come outside for some fresh air."

"Yeah," said Butters dreamily. "It does sort of get stuffy in there… Hey, have you eaten?"

The girl shook her head and Butters immediately offered his plate of tacos.

"Thank you," she said, plucking one with two fingers. She took a small bite, smiling at the taste. "Mmm… these are really good! Did Chef McElroy make these?"

"Yeah!" said Butters, shocked. "You know Chef? … W-wait, that's a stupid question. Of course you know Chef. Everybody knows Chef!"

"His parents are my next door neighbors," said the girl, finishing the taco. "They're supervising the ball right now."

"Oh, yeah!" Butters realized. "Duh… I saw Chef's dad entertaining the Goth Kids when I walked outside." He chuckled. "They looked more depressed than usual."

She giggled. "The poor things!"

"Hey, uh, I didn't catch your name…," said Butters. He was hoping for some kind of conversation with this girl.

"My name's Karen McCormick," she said.

"Karen McCormick," Butters repeated thoughtfully. "… Mmm. Gosh, that's a pretty name."

Karen blushed. "Oh, thank you!"

"My name is Leopold, but everyone calls me Butters."

"Butters? That's such a cute name. It's very fitting!"

"Wow, really?! You think my name's cute?"

"Uh-huh!"

The prince rapped his knuckles together and a wide smile crossed his face. "You say it's fitting… no one has ever said that to me before…"

Meanwhile, Mysterion was spying on them in the nearby bushes. He had followed Karen everywhere she went while being hidden by various items. Now he was watching his sister interact with a boy who seemed to be treated as the outcast of the kingdom… Kenny noticed the crown next to the bench on the ground and thought that Karen probably hadn't seen it yet. That's when the realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

_Oh my God,_ that's the PRINCE she's talking to! he thought. At once he began to pace in a circle. _My little sister is having a conversation with the prince! Holy crap—Kenny, calm down, dude… if Karen agrees to marry him before the ball is over, she'll be able to live a life of luxury and far away from the Weatherheads… she will NEVER have to see them again…_

He struck a victorious pose and punched the air.

'Kay, you're getting a tad out of character, Kenny… cut it out while you can!

Kenny obeyed the little conscience in his head and hurried back to his hiding spot; but as soon as he got there, Karen and Prince Butters were out of sight!

"What the—where'd they go?" he said to himself, his Mysterion identity taking over.

"You mean the prince and the maiden?" asked a voice. Kenny turned to face a girl that was around his age. She had light blonde hair that waved at the edges in the back and wore a casual knee-length navy blue dress with puffy sleeves. She giggled when she saw the expression on the self-proclaimed angel's face. "You know this is a formal ball, right? I think you put on the wrong outfit; October isn't here for at least five more months!"

Ignoring the insult of the fashion statement, Mysterion walked toward her, fists clenched. "Yes, the maiden! Did you see where they were headed? I need to know right away!"

The blonde girl tapped an index finger to her chin. "I think the prince mentioned dancing, so they must have gone inside the castle."

Mysterion pinched his nose, sighing. "Of course; thank you, miss."

He turned on his heel, desperate to watch over his sister when suddenly the dateless girl cried,

"Wait a minute! Before you leave, I'd like to hear why you're wearing that costume." She shrugged in the background and sat down on the rim of the fountain. "If you don't mind, that is. If you ask me, the girl you're looking for is probably in the best hands in the kingdom. I hear Prince Butters wouldn't hurt a fly, let alone go near one."

Mysterion pondered. It wouldn't hurt to give Karen a few minutes being alone with the prince. What he was really worried about was the Weatherheads showing up uninvited and taking Karen away from one of the best nights of her life. She was already having a good time and made a new friend, not to mention, a possible better future for herself. If their so-called foster parents took that from her, Kenny would never be able to forgive himself.

But still… here was a girl who was waiting on hand and foot, curious to know his story. Someone who could eventually care what would happen to Karen—and to him as well. His mind made up, Mysterion took a seat next to her, their backs against the sparkling fountain. They sat in an awkward silence for a few seconds until the blonde-haired girl was first to say anything.

"My name's Emily by the way. Emily Anderson," she said, introducing herself.

"Mysterion."

He held out a hand which Emily took to shake, but he surprised her by leaning down and kissing her palm. "The pleasure's all mine, Emily."

"What a gentleman," he heard her compliment.

"Oh, you know so little," he whispered to himself, instantly thinking of his box of sacred breast doodles underneath his bed.

One of Emily's eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"

"Nothing… nothing," mumbled Mysterion, straightening himself out.

"So…"

"… So."

"What's with the Halloween costume?" Emily teased, flicking Mysterion's logo, a bright green question mark.

Mysterion sighed. "Are you sure you're interested in hearing my story?" he asked. "It might be bit of a long one."

Emily smiled. "Don't worry. I have all the time in the world."


	3. Chapter 3

**On a scale of one to ten, I'm going to give this chapter a five. Some parts feel pretty weak, but... ehhh. I really, really wanted to complete this story. So after I settled in the new house, the motivation came racing back to me. I'm sorry if you aren't satisfied with it; it's 1:30 AM, and... I should really get to sleep, sooo... yay or nay or meh? Whatever floats your boat! :)**

**And Wendy in the beginning... I know about her and Butters in _The Hobbit_, and it seems really OOC for her to defend Butters in this... I just feel she's the type of girl to stand up for him, regarding that episode.**

* * *

_**Chapter III**_

Mr. and Mrs. Weatherhead were enjoying themselves to a nice evening; they had everything they'd ever wanted in their makeshift living area. But something in Mr. Weatherhead's peaceful state just snapped. He shot a curious expression over to his wife, who was absorbed in her books.

"Martha, dear… do you think it's too… _quiet_?"

Mrs. Weatherhead looked at him, a funny look on her face. "Actually, it does. Do you suppose…?"

Mr. Weatherhead rose from his chair.

"I'll check to see if the children are in bed," he said. "It would be wrong if it were _this_ quiet! I don't hear either of them rolling around on those squeaky mattresses!"

Both parents angrily walked up the stairs and approached Kenny's and Karen's rooms. Mr. Weatherhead knocked on Kenny's door.

"Kenneth?"

When there was no answer, Mr. Weatherhead peeked inside; he didn't find any trace of Kenny. All he left behind was his orange parka that was hanging in the closet, an untidy bed, and an opened window. As Mr. Weatherhead began to quiver with rage, Mrs. Weatherhead appeared in the doorway.

"Jon, Karen's missing!"

"Kenneth is too," replied Mr. Weatherhead. He balled his meaty hands into fists. "They've disobeyed us and escaped to the ball! I am such a fool; I should have known!"

"What do we do?" asked Mrs. Weatherhead. She was a woman who was quick to act on her husband's demand. She followed him downstairs and into the kitchen, where he took out a can of Dr. Pepper from the fridge.

He glowered at it for a good minute until exiting the kitchen and grabbed his jacket from the coat rack.

"Stay here and prepare the punishment room," he instructed, walking towards the front door. "I'll be back."

* * *

Butters and Karen danced the night away. Karen felt a little uneasy, however. She saw a number of nasty glares and dumbfounded expressions that were directed at Butters as they waltzed between couples. She couldn't help but wonder why they were staring at her dance partner. What did he ever do to them that made them so sour? Karen thought Butters was so nice; he was a very well-mannered and kind little boy who did his best to make everyone feel happy. Karen did have to admit that he was… how could she put this? _Dorky._ Dorky, but adorable! In yet, he had a charming personality.

A group of kids were observing them nearby.

"W-well I-I-I'll be damned," Jimmy Valmer cursed, "B-B-Butters has found himself a b-b-bride after all."

"She doesn't look familiar," said Nichole.

"I've never seen her before, have you?" Token asked Clyde, who shrugged.

"Not me," Clyde replied. He sent a smug smile in Karen's direction. "But she's a cutie, that's for sure."

"He's probably just going to dump her right after he introduces her to his parents," Eric Cartman whispered to Stan.

Wendy furrowed her eyebrows at him, a little angry spark flaring deep in her chest. "How dare you!" she snapped. "Can't you see that the prince is the happiest he's ever been tonight?"

"… So? Like that makes a difference. That dweeb is always happy."

"God!" Wendy turned red; the smoke almost visibly puffed out of her ears from Cartman's offensive behavior. "Just once in your life, cut the kid a break! And I'm not saying this to Cartman, I'm saying this to everybody. Butters treats everyone here with respect and most courtesy, but what does he get in return? Shit. You treat him like shit. He's not some doormat that deserves to be walked all over! He is a human being, for f—"

"Stan, I think you need to send a message to Michael and Debi Pearl," Cartman advised. "'Cause your bitch here is socially misbehaving. Don't let your bitch socially misbehave, Stan."

Oh, that did it.

"Look who's talking, Mister-I-couldn't-get-a-date-so-I-brought-my-mother! Wow, what a genius backup plan."

Cartman's eyes narrowed into thin slits. "Don't you dare talk about my momma that way…"

A worried Karen shook in Butters' arms as she witnessed the argument between Wendy and Cartman from across the room.

"Karen?" asked Butters, immediately concerned. "What's wrong?"

"I don't understand why so many people have to be at each other's throats all the time," she said.

Butters patted her head in an affectionate way. "Aww, don't you worry about Eric and Wendy, Karen. They fight all the time; they usually don't see eye to eye. That's what they do best."

Karen swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. "T-that's what my parents did, too," she whispered sadly. A misty glaze fell over her eyes.

The prince's smile faded. "Oh… I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Butters. They're in a better place now with my oldest brother."

_B-better place? … They're dead?_

As a knot began to tangle itself in his stomach, Butters stopped the waltz and placed his hands upon Karen's shoulders protectively.

"I… I had no idea. I'm so sorry, Karen," he said seriously. "Who have you been staying with since your family's passed?"

Karen suddenly looked discouraged. "Oh… I…"

Butters' eyes widened with worry. "Karen, please… As the prince, I should know these sorts of things. I have my rights…"

"The prince?" gasped Karen. "… You're the prince?"

Her knees went a knockin'. They felt wobbly. Like as if the ground had disappeared and was replaced with clouds. Butters offered a timid grin. He blushed and rubbed the back of his head and looked at the floor for a mere moment, bashfully brushing his left foot back and forth over the polished marble.

"Uh… eh… I-I guess I forgot to tell 'ya, huh?"

In the background of the ballroom, Cartman cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted, "Quick, there's still time! Run! Run while you can!"

Butters threw his head back and glared at the overweight boy. "Be quiet, Eric! Can't you see I'm telling my hearty speech here before I propose?"

Karen took a cautious step back, her face reddening ripe like a tomato. "… P-p-propose?" she squeaked.

Cartman rolled his eyes, grunting. "Oh, whatever. Like she's going to marry a nerd like you."

"… Aww, you know what? Screw it, I'll just get right to the point," Butters muttered under his breath, kneeling down on one knee. He took Karen's shaking, small hands in his and gazed fondly at her. "Karen… I know we've only spent an hour or so together and we couldn't have possibly know about each other in that small amount of time, but I… whenever I look at you, my tongue swells up. And my hands get clammy and… you're so nice and sweet, I just want to… aw, shucks, Karen—will you marry me? … Say in ten years?"

Talk about escalating too quickly. But if Karen were to stay with Butters, she'd learn more about him on the inside and out. That went for her, too. She would live in a wonderful new home where she hoped to be treated fairly by everyone. There would be no more pain or suffering or drinking or Dr. Pepper. Ten years would certainly give them enough time and preparation to know one another and plan the wedding. And she'd never have to set foot in the awful Weatherhead residence again. But there were a couple of cons. Butters had pointed out that living in a castle could get a little stuffy, and what would become of Kenny if she were to move out?

Karen looked at Butters carefully. He began to read her expression and could tell she was thinking about this decision rationally before jumping on the bandwagon. It was just another solid reason why he had to admire her. He smiled at that.

"My brother," said Karen finally. "Can he live here, too?"

"Your brother?" said Butters. He nodded. "Sure! Of course he can stay; hopefully my parents won't mind."

Karen sighed with relief. "Good. He does so much for me, he deserves to be happy."

Butters blinked. "Does this mean you'll…?"

"Yes!"

The prince leapt up and wrapped his arms around his fiancé, enclosing her in a hug.

"Oh my God! I can't believe it! You said yes! Oh man, Karen, you don't know happy I am…"

The clock tower's bell chimed throughout the kingdom, startling everyone.

"It's midnight!" exclaimed Butters chirpily, twirling around. "I've found a bride before midnight! That means I won't be grounded! Whoopieee!"

"I have to tell my guardian angel the good news," said Karen. She picked up her skirts and hurried away to the entrance.

"And I… oh hamburgers, my crown! Without it, my parents will ground me!"

* * *

"Well I for one think it's sweet how you're watching out for your sister, Kenny."

"Thanks. And I'm sorry what's been happening with your mom lately. I hope she can recover her drinking problem at rehab."

Emily perked up a smile and gently rested her hand over his gloved one. "Thank you. That means a lot to me. … If you want, we'd love it if you'd stop by for a visit now and then. It's only the two of us, so it gets kind of lonely at our cottage by the sea."

Kenny leaned in. "I'd love to."

It was then when Emily found herself leaning in as well—but before their lips could meet, a frantic Prince Butters burst upon on romantic scenario.

"Where is it?! Aw'shit, where could have it gone?! I know I've misplaced it somewhere around here!"

"Oh, poop on a stick," Emily groaned. "And we just finished our life stories, too…"

Kenny jumped down from the edge of the fountain, his Mysterion persona taking over once again. "Your Highness," he bowed. He looked at Butters questionably. "What seems to trouble you?"

"Oh, hello!" Butters greeted Mysterion, looking him up and down. "… Uh, you know this isn't a costume party, right? Halloween isn't here for a few more months. Anyway, I'm looking for my crown. My parents won't be happy with me if I'm not wearing it."

Mysterion glanced around the gardens, hoping to catch his baby sister, but unfortunately, she was nowhere to be seen. His eyes grew angry, but worry swallowed his heart.

"Wait. Where's the girl you were with?"

"Huh? Oh, she went outside to the front entrance to tell someone about our engagement," said Butters. "So while she's doing that, I needed to look for my crown—ah! Here it is."

Mysterion's jaw dropped. "You left her _alone_?"

Butters shrugged. "Well, y-yeah. I mean, she went off by herself. I guess she couldn't wait. Something about her… guardian angel?"

A scream of terror pierced the air.

The prince gasped. "That sounded like—"

"KAREN!"

The three children scrambled through the thinning ballroom; many of the guests had left at the stroke of midnight, thankfully. Mysterion and Emily scanned the room for Karen when Butters saw his parents approaching in a hasty fashion. An eager King Stephen clasped his hands and rubbed them together as Queen Linda looked to the small number of little ladies who hadn't left the party yet.

"Butters! Where's the lucky girl?" asked Stephen excitedly.

Butters stared longingly at them, saying nothing. His parents exchanged worried glances.

"Butters," said Linda, using her comforting motherly voice, "Did you find a bride?"

The prince did not reply. Placing his hands on his hips, Stephen narrowed his eyebrows.

"Young man, you're grounded for—"

"He did, Your Majesties," said Mysterion. "But first we'll have to get her back."

Stephen's anger disappeared right away when he saw the boy dressed in a purple hood and a pair of inappropriate tidy-whiteys. "Son, this is not a masquerade ball! Halloween isn't here for at least five more m—"

"I _know_!" yelled Mysterion, losing his temper. "People have been telling me that all night; but this isn't what we should be focusing on. Something big is about to happen!" He paused for effect and pointed an index finger at Stephen and Linda, who grew anxious by every word. Mysterion narrowed his eyes darkly as he walked closer to them. "Your future daughter-in-law is about to be drowned in Dr. Pepper by her wicked foster parents, and all you two do is threaten your son with endless sucky punishments because you have nothing else better to do! Act like a _real _king and queen for once by helping those in need instead of wasting your time thinking you're awesome twenty-four seven! Is that too much to ask? Good God!"

Emily stepped behind Mysterion and began to massage his shoulders and assure him.

"Easy, Kenny… it's okay. Everything will be fine! We'll get your sister back, don't worry!"

Kenny hung his head in shame. A large wad of guilt plunged down into his stomach; he should have been there for Karen when she needed him most! He shut his eyes, growling underneath his breath. If anything were to happen to her when he wasn't there…

"Oh, we better…"

Emily smiled halfheartedly, tempting to calm her newfound love down.

"We will," she whispered, reaching for his chest. His heart was pounding, but with her touch, it suddenly started to relax. Kenny finally smiled back and took Emily's hand that was lying on his chest. He faced Stephen, looking serious again.

"Butters' fiancé is in grave danger. It's time to let go of the jester's hat and put on the crown."

* * *

A frightened Karen dangled from high chains overhead. The basement—or, also known as, The Punishment Room by her foster parents, was a dark, dank place; it was like every child's worse nightmare come true. The only light available in the room was a single light bulb, tiny and dim. A crinkled mess of a mat was below the girl's body, worn down by countless sprays and four cinder blocks. Karen wept for her brother who had to go through all of that suffering before. She watched with tearful eyes as Mr. and Mrs. Weatherhead emptied a few boxes of Dr. Pepper and poured full cans into a large barrel that was connected to a power washer.

Mr. Weatherhead caught Karen's miserable expression and sneered.

"Now you know why you should never leave this house without our permission," he said. He turned to his wife, looking stern. "Let us proceed with the waterboarding, Martha. Her brother should come to her rescue after hearing her first scream." He stared at his opened palm and crushed it into a fist. "That way we'll have them both. Then they'll learn to _never_ disobey us ever again!"

Fizzy soda bubbled in Karen's ears. Before she knew it, she had become blinded by the first shot. Karen felt a scream burst out of her mouth as the liquid consumed her body.

"KENNY! (_pffft_) GUARDIAN ANGEL! PLEASE! (_pffft_) HELP ME!"

Enraged, Mr. Weatherhead stamped his foot and lashed out his arms; his wife stopped the hose.

"How many times have we've gone through this?!" demanded Mr. Weatherhead. "Karen, there are _no_ such thing as angels! And if they were, they would be agnostic! Don't give me that face—no! Don't start crying! Oh, for the love of—it's just a dress, for God-ish's sake!"

"My gown!" she sobbed. "My guardian angel got me this gown for the ball… how could you?"

"… Hit her with the Dr. Pepper again, Martha. And make this one a little longer than the last time. It seems that Karen hasn't gotten the message yet."

Mrs. Weatherhead followed her husband's orders and began to spray Karen furiously from head to toe. Mr. Weatherhead raised his eyes to the ceiling.

"Martha… stop. Stop the spray, dear."

"What's wrong?" asked Mrs. Weatherhead, turning off the power washer.

Mr. Weatherhead put a finger to his lips, shushing her. An obscure noise came from outside the house. They looked to the ceiling again.

"… Trumpets…?" murmured Mr. Weatherhead. "By God-ish, it's the king!"

"At this hour?" said his wife, shocked. She immediately dropped the hose and glanced at the girl who hung limp in chains. "What should we do with her?"

"Leave her here," said Mr. Weatherhead, sprinting to the stairway. "We'll finish with her after His Majesty leaves."

Karen slowly raised her head and shook it back and forth violently.

"No!" she cried desperately. "No, don't leave me! Please! … Please?!"

Ignoring the pleas of the abused child, the foster parents left her alone in the cold and musty basement. The last of the Dr. Pepper dripped over her legs and to the floor; Karen could hear the tiny plops against the mat. That's when a hysterical cry emerged from Karen's throat, turning her cheeks red. She cried for Kenny, for her guardian angel and for her family… and for Butters. She was too embarrassed at herself to look down at her dress, which stuck to her. Her wonderful ball gown that her guardian angel purchased for her… was ruined… absolutely ruined! And all of her dreams… why, they were completely shattered. Nothing was left for her.

She held back a squeal of discomfort and sniffled.

"Be a big girl, Karen… that's what Kenny'd want you to be," she told herself. "… You're a going to be a princess! Princesses make people happy; they don't make them sad… and if you're a princess, and you're sad… you're going to make your people sad, too…"_  
_

* * *

Mr. Weatherhead opened the door cautiously; soon enough, he was face to face with King Stephen and Queen Linda.

"Well, this is quite a surprise!" said Mr. Weatherhead. His wife laughed sheepishly in the background and curtsied before the royal family. "What brings you to our home in the middle of the night, Your Majesties? What can we do for you?"

"I apologize for waking you, Mr. and Mrs. Weatherhead," said Stephen. "But it seems that my son Leopold here has fallen deeply in love with your adopted daughter. Before my queen and I could meet her at the ball, she, uh… _hurried home_." Butters glared up at his father who removed his expensive pipe and cleared his throat. "Well… I… what we've come to understand from the prince is that you've abducted her and brought her back here where you could drown her in… a basement full of Dr. Pepper?"

"She had no right to go to that stupid ball to fill her head with wonders," said Mr. Weatherhead snootily.

"… What do you mean?" asked Linda, confused. "Every child was to go! Were you planning to keep her home and locked up?"

"No!" shouted Mrs. Weatherhead. "We were planning on keeping her home and forcing her to clean and say her agnostic prayers."

"Of course she had to play the rebellion and go to the ball without telling us," said Mr. Weatherhead. "And she fell in love with some prince! Humph! And she didn't tell us about that, either! That does it. She'll spend the rest of the night in the Punishment Room!"

Stephen and Linda were appalled.

"Some prince?" retorted the queen.

The king became outraged. "That some prince is our precious son, you bigoted son of a bitch!"

Mr. Weatherhead stepped up to Stephen's steaming face. "What did you call my mother, you little pussy?"

"Don't call me a pussy, you pussy! You shall address me as a royal pussy!"

"You want to take this outside?" screamed a furious Mr. Weatherhead.

"We _are_ outside, asshole!"

The two men bickered back and forth like children as their wives pulled them away from killing one another. While this was happening, Mysterion saw the opportunity of tiptoeing toward the house. He grabbed Prince Butters' attention, wanting him to follow.

The friends entered the home. As Mysterion hurried to the Punishment Room, Butters took in his surroundings. He bumped his knuckles out of apprehension and looked around the unfriendly dining room and kitchen. He couldn't believe that Karen had to live in a place like this; how could she, the sweetest girl in the land, overcome the difficulties of living with such horrible parents? At least his did treat him with love and care. Their punishments were way out of left field now and then, but this… Butters had a lot to take in. Karen and her brother had to put up with so much lately, and it broke his heart. It took a lot of strength and courage to stand up to the Weatherheads, and just thinking of Karen doing that made Butters' heart thump straight out of his chest. He never realized how much he loved her...

"Gosh, I can't believe this is Karen's house… It's not very hospitable, is it, Mysterion? … M-Mysterion?" He noticed the door to the first floor was ajar and followed the guardian angel. "Hey, Mysterion! Wait for me!"

Butters was about to leap off the last step of the staircase when he saw the heartwarming image of a drenched and physically and emotionally exhausted Karen cuddling in the arms of her savior. Her little fingers clutched the hero's fabrics repeatedly as he stroked her Dr. Pepper-filled hair. The reeking stench of the carbonated water made Butters want to vomit, but he knew this wasn't the appropriate time to do so.

"Oh… oh Angel, I'm so glad you're here," said Karen softly.

Mysterion pushed some sticky bangs out of his sister's eyes and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm here," he whispered. "I'm right here."

From that moment on, he continued to cradle her like out of natural instinct of a mother being overprotective of her infant. Karen's eyes moved to her dress. Using two of her fingers, she snatched a piece of it and examined it closely. The view of nasty soda stains made her burst into tears again. Mortified, Karen hid her face into her hands. Kenny grimaced. All of that waterboarding must have traumatized her a great deal; but what surprised him the most, she didn't talk about the horrific experience.

"All of your money has been wasted, Guardian Angel!" she sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry!"

Mysterion nuzzled her hair, taking no notice of the scent of Dr. Pepper.

"Please don't be, Karen. In fact, it wasn't any of my money."

Butters' eyes widened. _Then… whose money is it? Er... was?_

"It… it wasn't?" said Karen, raising her head. Mysterion brushed her tears away with a gloved thumb.

"No. I stole it from the Weatherheads," he confessed.

Butters covered his surprised gasp with two hands. _Now why'd he do a thing like that?_

"Why?"

"I felt that they didn't provide enough for you," said Mysterion. "They always made you do this and that; they never thought of spending anything to make you happy. And besides, I can always get you another. Maybe three or four! … Maybe over a million dresses."

"… I… oh my… you'd really do that for… for me?" she asked. He nodded. "What did I do to deserve such a wonderful guardian angel?"

Mysterion leaned forward, smiling mischievously.

"I ask myself that every day, too. Just how in heaven did I get assigned to watch over such a lovely little princess?"

Karen felt overwhelmed with a loving warmth. "Oh, Angel…"

Mysterion's grin widened as he rose to his feet, pulling Karen along in the process. "Now let's get you home."

"… Home?"

"The castle, of course!" said Mysterion. "Prince Butters' parents are itching to meet you."

"Really?" asked Karen, jumping for joy. "They are?"

"That's right. I told them all about you when we were on our way to rescue you," said Mysterion. "Kenny's settling in his personal chamber right now! He wanted to tag along and distract the Weatherheads, but I thought it'd be too risky. I didn't want the both of you to end up in danger, so I told him to wait at the castle in case if you came back. You don't know how thrilled he is to hear that you're going to be a princess! … In eleven years!"

"Oh, Guardian Angel!" Karen threw her arms around him. "Thank you for all what you've done for me and Kenny! You've been protecting him too! That's so nice of you. How can we ever repay you?"

"Think nothing of it, Karen," said Mysterion, burying his face into her shoulder just to hide away his big smile. "I'm happy to help you in any way that I can."

Karen pulled away, looking rather puzzled.

"Wait… what do you mean by 'we'?"

Mysterion gestured to Butters, who had watched the entire heartwarming scene. He wiped his eyes and waved innocently.

"Heh… h-hi, Karen! Um, I didn't mean to… y'know, interrupt the moment—"

"Butters!" squealed Karen, tackling him into a hug. "Butters, are you all right?! Did the Weatherheads hurt you?"

Butters snuggled his chin over Karen's damp head and rested it in her hair, smiling like a goofy idiot. It was so good to have her back in his arms again. "N-no, they didn't… I'm just so glad that you're all right… would you like to come home with me? We can catch up in the carriage—that is, if want to… I know you've been through a lot lately, Karen, but all I want to do is make you feel at home… make you feel comfortable, you know? You can have your own little bedroom with your own little bath, and… a closet full of pretty dresses… oh, golly… I… I hope you can… stay forever…"

Working up enough courage, Butters leaned forward and planted a chaste kiss upon Karen's cheek. The poor girl's face flared up at once, and butterflies were unleashed in her stomach and started to flutter like crazy.

"I-I'll stay," stammered Karen.

A blushing Butters took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Forever?"

"Forever," Karen promised. "Guardian Angel, thank you for everything…"

When Karen turned her back to face the boy in the purple hood and green question mark, he was gone. Butters embraced Karen before leading her outside of the Weatherheads' house and to the carriage where his parents were waiting.

* * *

Kenny perched on top of a tower in his Mysterion costume for one last time that night. He saw the royal carriage pull onto the castle grounds. Out popped the king and queen, followed by the bouncy Prince Butters and his future princess, Karen McCormick. He smiled when Butters guided Karen by the hand and into the castle where he'd lead her to her royal chamber.

He silently glided down the tower and tumbled through the window of his brand new bedroom. In quick haste, Kenny stripped off his Mysterion garb and slipped into his too familiar orange parka. There came a knock at the door when he folded his costume and pushed it underneath his bed beside his secret box of breast drawings. He looked at himself in the mirror and glanced down at the rose that he would give to Emily on their first real date.

There was another knock at the door.

Kenny tightened the strings on his hood which muffled his speech.

"Coming, Karen!" he called cheerfully.

But right now he had to play the most important part of all; being a big brother.


End file.
